it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm just crazy horny about you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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