I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
