I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize