you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize