No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
