it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm always down for nudity.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
