i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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