ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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