There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
