so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
