Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
