Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
