I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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