i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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