Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
