living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
