Me too!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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