My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
