I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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