So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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