I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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