I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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