dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
