Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize