So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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