I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She needs sedatives and a leash
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Someone came in the potted fern
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
