If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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