I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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