you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
