I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
