I can tuck mytits in my pants
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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