New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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