i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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