we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
