I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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