I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
