Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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