As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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