if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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