dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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