you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
