Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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