ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
