You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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