I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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