think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
