no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
