just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
