dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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