What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
