Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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