i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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