So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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