If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
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I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
being pregnant is like rehab
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I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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