Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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