So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
