I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
