I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There are leaves in my underwear?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
