Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
