His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
