Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
