So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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