Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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