Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
