i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
