my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
