If i come over, it means nothing
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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