Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
