My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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