I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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