She said her name was "party"
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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