yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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