3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
