Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
